He called it Tri-Solar instead of bipolar

If I would have yelled, “Free just take your medication”! Would it had helped? I doubt it, he was a man who had it his way 95% of the time. So I remained silent 80% of the time until it became unhealthy for our son an I, and I made a decision to leave, even though I loved him dearly, but it was too late, he decided to leave before me.

Not everyone knows how intricate it can be, living with a lover who has a mental illness who has decided to stop taking their medication. A tiny glimpse?

Sleepless nights

self medicating

ghost talking

erratic behavior

weight loss

Promiscuity

fear

impulsiveness

Mania

depression

endless sleeping

psychosis

….

No one knows what it’s like to watch their health deteriorate right before your eyes; urinate on themselves or defecate in your common space.

No one knows, because shame keeps it a secret, leaving it open for people conjure up their own conclusions.

No one could possibly believe it until they have seen it.

Shame sets in, lips become sealed.

Miss informed girl yells out,”he’s on fucking drugs”, I want to yell back, “no stupid, Its not drugs it’s bipolar”!

but now he is gone!

rejecting the illness

rejecting medication

rejecting our love

jumping to escape it .

He is gone now, do I still keep it a  secret?

Not wanting to change people’s view of him.

No need to worry.

He will always remain a beautiful spirit, despite the ugly details of his illness.

His soul was pure!

No more shame, time to eliminate the stigmas. Let’s get down and dirty and expose the truth that  Every year, about 42.5 million American adults (or 18.2 percent of the total adult population in the United States) suffers from some mental illness.

He didn’t speak about his struggles to most, he hid it behind jokes, smoke, music, and constantly being on the go.

He always managed to show love.

He didn’t want to be known as having a severe case of bipolar, because he felt more tri-solar (out of this world).

Dispte all the pain I’m feeling at this moment, I have no regrets  falling in love with my Tri-Solar Soulmate!

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